i wanted to kick-box you all over the place!!hmmp.
I’m into an intensive and very much complicated mind boggling dilemma right now!!! Damn! I still got a lot of things to do! Haai…. life sucks!!! As of this very moment I really wanted to burst out crying…but I can’t cry maybe I have this dry-eye syndrome or what… or maybe because I was subconsciously suspending all those mucous layer against the eye, a middle aqueous (water) layer, and an outer lipid (oily) layer. Haai whatever!!
I’ve got so many worries in my head! And I’ve got no one to turn to….even a single moral support from someone I wanted to be there for me, who is taking a big part of those worries that is cracking up my head, or so I think!
I have to worry about my businesses that are giving me a real pain in the ass! And I’m still working out my unbelievable business plan to make it more believable! I have to hurry things up because Orgollo is coming! But I’m not yet ready! It’s so hard to work alone and to work far from the work itself!
I also have to worry about academics---- most especially those illogical subjects that I am taking up right now who have that bullshit guts to demand so many paper works about nonsense topics----topics that I cant really figure out if it can even help boost my entrepreneurial ability or if it can even pacify my restless being!
I am also trying to figure out if I can still go home after these finals just before the Orgollo to somehow prepare myself and my business for this upcoming trade fare! I really have to prepare because this is no joke anymore! I will receive many criticisms I know even if I prepare what more if I just don’t!?!
But the big worry in my head is about someone---- someone I can’t resist of thinking about! And I am starting to be annoyed by my own self delusion! I don’t want to hurry things between us, but unfortunately, I don’t know what have become of me, because I always wanted to text him, to talk to him, and much more to be with him, but I know we can’t do that and I can’t demand things like that because I just can’t… Maybe because I forgot all my worries when I’m with him, that’s why I wanted to be with him often. He’s like a stress tab to me! hahahaha….
But he’s got a lot of things to do and so I am. And that’s what cracks me up! Because there is this Shit-part of me that is not satisfied by just the thought of him. He wanted me to explain and give reasons for such behavior, but I’m speechless! And so, he told me last night that “there is no reasonless reason!” and indeed I agree! Because there is really no such thing as coincidence or accidents, all things have its own reasons and purpose! But maybe he doesn’t know and I forgot to tell him last night that indeed there is no reasonless reason but there is an unexplainable reasons--- reasons which you cannot put into words or, worst is that, you don’t know how to put it into words!
Haai… I think I’m even falling deeper! And I know that if I do so, I’ll be risking a lot ‘deeper’ too. Well anyway, it’s the only way to live life completely! And no matter what, we really have to risk something for something! We can do nothing about it, it’s the trend I guess….hehhehe!
But I really thank my blog for the unlimited space for my wild thoughts. This is where I always free myself and my mind. Because whenever I had so many worries or opportunities, as they say in business, I really love to express it through things like this…
And to that someone with dangerous ideas like mine, hehhhehe, ammm… its really rare to find someone who you’ll love to talk to and share thoughts with, so although your always letting me down over and over again, and you don’t know how much I wanted to kick-box you all over the place when you said you’ll come but you did come very late!!!!
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